Boy, there's been a lot to keep up with in the sports world lately, hasn't there?

Topping the list for most of us, no doubt, is the betting scandal rocking the sumo world. Things have gotten so bad that Japanese public television has abandoned its traditional live broadcast of one of the sport's annual tournaments.

The Associated Press reports that dozens of sumo's top wrestlers and coaches have used gangsters to bet large sums on baseball. This is after problems with marijuana use, public drunkenness and hazing had already lowered the sport's image. (What's next -- a racing sushi criticizing sumo on his Facebook page?)

"Sumo is facing a crisis the likes of which only comes once every 100 years," said Shigeo Fukuchi, chairman of the public TV network, NHK.

One could well say the same about competitive hot dog eating, though it probably doesn't go back 100 years as a televised ESPN sport. Things turned ugly for the wiener eaters at the major title contest at Coney Island on July 4.

Former champion Takeru Kobayashi crashed the stage like some Kanye West clone and got himself arrested. He wasn't a formal competitor because of a dispute with organizers about what all eating competitions he can take part in. Now his actions have given a black eye to Major League Eating, the contest sanctioning body that perhaps assumed it could avoid such tarnish by keeping Ben Roethlisberger off the circuit.

The toughest part for Mr. Kobayashi, apparently, was getting hungry after watching his top rival win the Coney Island contest by downing 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes. All Mr. Kobayashi said he got during his jail stay was a sandwich (that's right -- just one) and milk.

The least of LeBron James' problems when he next visits northeastern Ohio will be what he has to eat. The city of Cleveland seems to hold the NBA star in low regard for abandoning it for Miami, not because Mr. James can make more money there but because he believes it provides him a better chance of winning a championship.

It's a little like when former Penguin Marian Hossa rejected a lucrative contract offer to stay in Pittsburgh, accepting a lesser one to play in Detroit -- except for the fact that Mr. James means about 100 times more to Cleveland than Mr. Hossa ever did to Pittsburgh. Mr. Hossa never had a 10-story mural of himself dominating the Steel City's skyline, as was the case in Cleveland for Mr. James.

The mural was taken down over the weekend, days after irate Cavaliers fans threw stones at it following Mr. James' announcement that he was relocating to Miami. It might be a while before the next 10-story mural of a person is erected in Cleveland. (Anyone there for a towering Drew Carey?)

The World Cup has made for a great month for people who like watching guys in shorts running back and forth kicking one another (and occasionally a ball) and wincing in pain while collapsing to the ground, most likely because they can't stand the constant sound of the horns (sorry -- vuvuzelas) in the background.

One beneficiary of the soccer competition is the image of the octopus. An eight-armed creature named Paul in the Oberhausen, Germany, aquarium showed incredible accuracy in predicting the outcome of World Cup matches by choosing to descend upon tanks marked by flags of countries that would win matches, while ignoring the losing countries' flags. Its success resulted in much attention and admiration for a species that has suffered from bad PR for generations.

Paul couldn't be bothered to make a choice about the U.S. Women's Open at Oakmont. He might have gotten his tentacles tied all in a knot, trying to decide among the golfer with the bad thumb, the one with bad hearing, the one who's too young to drive a car and perhaps a golf cart, the really hot one and the various Asian options on the menu.

Apparently we Western Pennsylvanians were all supposed to take pride primarily in the sadistic tendencies of the Oakmont members, who love using the course to humble professional visitors who think of birdies as their God-given right.

It'll be another six years before the men return to Oakmont for a U.S. Open. That's a lot of empty time out of the national spotlight for it. We'd love to see the members consent to some sumo or hot dog-eating competition there in the interim -- just so long as they make it really, rough tough for the participants.

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