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As if Kevin Smith doesn't have enough trouble, after being humiliated and tossed off a Southwest plane, along comes "Cop Out," which is anorexic when it comes to laughs or creativity.
Mr. Smith directs "Cop Out" but did not write it, which explains why it's missing his formula of raunch, jaw-dropping moments and ultimate sweetness. It worked in such movies as "Clerks," "Chasing Amy" and "Zack and Miri Make a Porno."
Instead, we get Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan as New York detectives who have been partners for nine years although I cannot imagine Jimmy (Willis) and Paul (Morgan) lasting more than nine days or maybe nine hours.
- Starring: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan.
- Rating: R for pervasive language, including sexual references, violence and brief sexuality.
- Web site: www.copoutmovie.warnerbros.com
When the two are caught in a Mexican drug gang bust gone wrong, they are suspended without pay for 30 days. That's a particular problem for Jimmy, who is facing the $48,000 tab for the impending wedding of his daughter.
His scheme to sell a rare, mint-condition baseball card goes awry, sending the detectives on a collision course with drug dealers, a nimble but stupid thief (Seann William Scott), Mexican hostage, fellow officers and others.
Robb and Mark Cullen, brothers from South Philadelphia, wrote "Cop Out." Their joint credits include creating FX's "Lucky," starring John Corbett as a gambler and used car salesman, and working on a remake of "Uptown Saturday Night."
They obviously never met a buddy cop movie they didn't love, want to rip off or pay homage to, and even have Mr. Morgan imitate a series of cinematic cops as he interrogates a suspect. It's not that funny and neither is anything else about this movie, which also features a high body count in keeping with its R rating.
People are shot, pummeled with baseballs, Tasered, tumble to their death and -- in a gag you can see the minute a chase detours into a cemetery -- drive into a freshly dug grave.
Mr. Morgan, who seems to have been given free rein to ad-lib or draw out his scenes as long as possible or until Mr. Willis' smirk cracks into full-fledged smile (off camera), plays a man with a font of useless knowledge who suspects his wife of cheating and is often on the cell phone when there's pressing police business at hand.
Mr. Willis could do this gig in his sleep and, at 54 years old, is still action-hero fit and credible as a cop. Turning up in smaller roles are Smith favorite Jason Lee along with Kevin Pollak, Adam Brody, Rashida Jones and Guillermo Diaz.
I didn't find "Cop Out" funny but a preview audience sporadically did although the movie didn't produce "Hangover"-size laughs.
Mr. Morgan is ideal in small doses as on TV's "30 Rock" and is obviously no Eddie Murphy in his "Beverly Hills Cop" prime. Some of the humor is purposely juvenile, as when Mr. Scott repeats everything Mr. Morgan says as if they were 6 years old.
The long winter of 2010 certainly cries out for a good comedy but, like the folks who longed for snowplows and power when they had none, I'm still waiting.
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