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Co-host of ABC's "Nightline," Cynthia McFadden, continues to pursue her childhood ambition to be a journalist. A single mother, she lives in New York with her son Spencer, who was named after Spencer Tracy. Ms. McFadden was a close friend of the late Katharine Hepburn and executor of her will. She is also a co-founder of "wowOwow," (www.wowowow.com) a website that describes itself as "a new way for women to talk culture, politics and gossip," with contributors including columnist Liz Smith, Lesly Stahl and Candice Bergen. Last week she did a "Nightline" interview with Leonardo DiCaprio and Martin Scorsese. Tonight's "Nightline" features a panel discussion on the topic "It's OK to Be Fat."
You've interviewed many ambitious women in your career. How does your own ambition compare?
You know ambition associated with women is so often seen as a negative. So many women, like to shy away from it. I've come to embrace it, though. I think ambition's a great thing. We certainly think it is when it's a man's ambition.
See the Katharine Hepburn famously commented that when it came to motherhood and work she could not do both well.
I've had occasion to think about it. She said many things about why she didn't have children. One of the things she said was [Ms. McFadden did a good imitation of Katharine Hepburn], "If on opening night little Johnny had the flu, I'd want to kill him." [Laughing] I have to say the other night, the night before I was leaving to go to Haiti, my darling little 11-year-old boy poked his head in my room at midnight, covered from stem to stern in vomit. I thought, "Uh oh," and indeed we were up all night together. I have to say I had a private little conversation in my mind with Katharine Hepburn and said, "You know what? You were wrong. It is worth it. It's worth it no matter what."
Your trip to Haiti with former President Clinton was unexpected. How is it dealing with those things being a single mother?
I'm really lucky Spencer has a very supportive network and a very involved father. We have a backup system. Generally I have a pretty good idea of when I'm going. This particular trip, however, strained the system a bit. Ultimately, I wasn't faced with the most difficult decision because Spencer had one of those 24-hour viruses, and he was actually feeling fine by the time I left. I've had to cancel very few trips. Spencer is really proud of my work, and it helps a lot. He wanted me to go to Haiti. The next morning he went through his closet and picked out 20 T-shirts and said, "Give these to the kids, mom. They need them more than I do."
What was it like being there with President Clinton? Does he get to see the real nitty-gritty?
This was such a unique circumstance. I've been on the road with politicians over the years, and when you are traveling with the president there is such a bubble. In this circumstance, while he was accompanied by the Secret Service, it was a pretty down and gritty trip. He wants to talk to people outside the bubble, and he sought them out. We made many unscheduled stops in the course of the six and a half hours he was on the ground.
Did seeing all those orphans have you thinking about your own adoption?
You know, you can't report in the developing world without having your heart broken over and over again, especially by the kids. I can remember being in Bosnia and Sarajevo and going into an orphanage, and the children would just come up and grab you and say, "Please, I love you, I love you. Take me, take me." I've had mothers in India offer me their babies. You know it's very painful. To do what I do you have to be able to feel it all and then [big sigh] walk away. I don't know where all that energy goes ultimately.
There are 250 million children worldwide who will go to bed tonight without a parent. Yeah, I was adopted, so I don't know how that plays into all of it. I was adopted into a very happy circumstance. I always joke that I was "Cider House Rules." It was a private arrangement, not through an adoption agency. It was back in the '50s you know.
How old were you when they told you?
I don't ever remember not knowing. It was just part of my growing up. My son is the first biological relative I've ever known. It's made a deep bond even more mysterious and fascinating to me.
Compromise is part of motherhood and career, but do you feel you had to sacrifice?
Mmm, I guess if you love what you do it doesn't feel like a sacrifice. I've had a really lucky time of it. Let's put it this way, I'm not a reliable dinner guest. I've certainly sacrificed, you know, fun. But it doesn't feel like a sacrifice to me. I've had the opportunity to see the world and cover the world in a way that few people ever will and I feel so fortunate. [Laughing]
I would say, I sacrifice my health more than anything -- working too hard. Sleep I have sacrificed!
Is the career you have forged the one you wanted?
I was thinking about this the other day. I've always wanted to be a journalist from the time I was really young. It's so boring, but I've actually been able to live the dream I had when I was a little girl sitting on the floor watching the evening news in Maine. No one in my family had ever gone to college. I had very big dreams.
On the wowOwow.com website you and the other participants are very candid.
I think it's the comfort of the group. I think that we all trust each other and support one another. We feel emboldened by each other. Women I deeply admire from Sheila Nevins and Leslie Stahl. They are just women who have achieved so much in their lives. It's a really refreshing community. It's great to be able to say I'm 53. I really embrace this moment in my life and not have to be in hiding about it. That's part of what "Wow" has done.
Does anyone or anything intimidate you? Also, how did knowing Katharine Hepburn change you?
Actually, I would answer in reverse order. She scared the bejesus out of me at first. I wanted to please her. She was a very intimidating person, by intention I think. I guess I felt by the end of her life that I had gone through the trial of fire and prevailed. So it helped. It helped a lot.
She gave me a sort of confidence in myself that I certainly didn't have. She gave me a point of view on the world. She gave me a lot of rules I can't live up to [laughing]. I think she very much toward the end of her life [wanted] to impart the way she thought you should live from the simplest things like, "Never sleep on sheets that aren't white. It can change your personality." Do you love that! And, "Never wear yellow. It's bad on everyone." I mean just fabulous things. Who knew? She was never in doubt. [laughing].
At the same time Fred Friendly, who was my first boss in this business, was an enormous influence, and he was also rarely in doubt. To answer your other question, I find that if I let my curiosity take over, my level of anxiety or fear is diminished. I think the little things in life are a lot more intimidating. A wonderful friend of mine, movie producer Joel Schumacher said, "You know Cynthia, people spend most of their lives afraid of one simple thing: public humiliation. If you can get over the fear of public humiliation, there's no end to what you can accomplish."
Listen, I've made so many mistakes. I try to say I'm learning. I'm still learning and growing. I'm not going to be afraid. Fear is just such a killer to creativity and to joy. So I wouldn't say I'm afraid in life.
Mackenzie Carpenter's video program, "Omnivore," is available exclusively at PG+, a members-only web site of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Our introduction to PG+ gives you all the details.
