Rage rage
You know what we're sick and tired of here at The Morning File? Rage, dammit. It's everywhere. Do we have to repeat ourselves to you morons? IT'S EVERYWHERE!

	James Hilston, Post-Gazette

Road rage, desk rage, air rage, column rage, even outrage -- there's not a rage we can think of that doesn't make us furious. They're even worried about this stuff in mild-mannered Canada. AUTO21 is a Canadian auto safety research team dedicated to eliminating road rage. But first they had to find it, and what they found was that ordinary Canadians are flipping each other the bird and driving aggressively, eh? Everyday American occurrences, to be sure, but AUTO21 fears what they can lead to. In most cases, road rage starts with trivial annoyances, such as a delay of a minute or two or a driver ahead annoyingly doing the speed limit. AUTO21 suggests anti-road rage features in cars: a low-tech light signal to indicate "I'm sorry" when a driver makes a mistake and a distance monitor to warn against tailgating.

So stress is good?
Bad news for those of you with tedious, predictable Dilbert-type jobs: You could be boring your way to an early grave. A team from University College London studied the heart rates of more than 2,000 civil servants with different responsibilities and found that those in dead-end jobs are better candidates for heart attacks than those doing more creative work. The dead-enders were also more depressed. The Daily Mail of London says the research could help reduce heart disease by prompting changes in workplace conditions. Bigger cubicles? Windows? A good bracing case of desk rage?

From the AP
• Man Buys Smoker, Finds Human Leg Inside • Coach Stops Runaway Horse by Biting Ear • Man Allegedly Tries to Use 'Blurry' $100 • Police Break Up Brawl at Chuck E. Cheese • Suggestive Card Ruffles Farmer's Feathers • Nerds to Auction Themselves to Women • Toilet to Tap? San Jose Probes Plan • Seattle to Allow Pygmy Goats As Pets • Yankees Rookies Dress Up in Oz Costumes

Dumb driving rankings
When it comes to bad driving, everybody has opinions, but nobody does anything about it. GMAC Insurance tried to bring scientific precision to the question of which state has the dumbest drivers, and Pennsylvania came in a respectably bad 13th. The top three for bad driving: Rhode Island (is it big enough to drive in?), Massachusetts (The Morning File's choice) and good old New Jersey (sentimental favorite). Fans of stereotypes should know that West Virginia had the 10th smartest drivers, Ohio was in the middle of the pack and Maryland was woeful. The survey was based on a 20-question written test on traffic laws, safety and general driving habits. At this point, we ask Pittsburghers to pay special attention: One of five drivers doesn't know that a pedestrian in a crosswalk has the right of way, and one out of three speeds up to make a yellow light, even when pedestrians are present. One of 10 drivers regularly exceeds the speed limit by 11 or more miles per hour, and here we vigorously demand a recount, because it can't be that low.

Bulletin!
Live from Dave James, retired morning news guy on KDKA radio: "I just almost got nailed by a woman on the Parkway West who was attempting to change lanes with the steering wheel, a cigarette and what looked like a spread sheet in one hand and a cell phone in the other."

Follow your nose
We wonder what that woman's car smelled like. You see, the wrong kind of smell in your car could lead to speeding, falling asleep or even road rage, according to the RAC Foundation of Great Britain, as reported in the Western Mail newspaper:

The "dangerous" smells: Camomile, jasmine and lavender are used to treat insomnia and can cause drivers to become too relaxed. Fast-food wrappers or fresh bread can cause irritability and a tendency to speed that can escalate into road rage because they suggest hunger and inspire you to move fast. Fresh cut grass, pine woods (aren't all those air fresheners pine-scented?) or flowers can send drivers into nostalgic reverie to the point where they don't notice their speed. A combination of leather seats and oil can evoke in older drivers the thrill and risk-taking of youth. Certain perfumes and after-shaves could put sex on the brain, which a driver may find more interesting than driving.

	P2: I Live Where I Work (I Think) With regard to your dilemma on where we live (Pittsburgh? Glenshaw? Shaler?, etc.), as the assistant manager of Shaler Township, I have had the distinct pleasure of having to explain this question to many people moving into our area. Take for example a couple moving from Florida to Shaler. Imagine their confusion moving from Tampa, which is in Hillsborough County in the State of Florida. Period. Living in Shaler could also mean you live in Allison Park, Glenshaw or four other ZIP codes which begin with 152--- and are classified as Pittsburgh in the mailing address, such as 15209. However, 15209 is also Millvale's ZIP code. Millvale is a borough unto itself, separate from Shaler, except that they are included in the Shaler Area School District, along with Etna Borough and Reserve and Shaler townships. Thankfully, they don't have their own ZIP codes (yet.) Shaler also includes three other ZIP codes: 15215 (Sharpsburg -- the post office, not the borough), 15223 (Etna --- same difference) and just a few 15237's (McKnight in Ross Township). Further complicating matters, in Shaler we have "neighborhoods." No, not Mister Rogers' neighborhood (although Mr. Rogers is the manager). You can live in Shaler, with a Millvale ZIP code located in Bauerstown. We also have the Cherry City neighborhood, some of which includes the Millvale ZIP code and the Etna ZIP code. Just to make things clear, Shaler Township has seven electoral wards, bordered by four other townships (Hampton, Indiana, Reserve and Ross), three boroughs, (Sharpsburg, Millvale and Etna), six postal designations, six neighborhoods, one school district and a partridge in a pear tree, which was recently spotted at the corner of Mount Royal and Wetzel, staring at a map and looking very disoriented. I hope this clears up your question.

Beneficial smells: Peppermint and cinnamon improve concentration levels. Lemon and coffee are good for clear thinking and focus. A blast of salty sea air can encourage deep breathing, which relaxes the muscles, relieves stress and calms the mind. So load up on the coffee with cinnamon and drive near the ocean at all times.

Pay as you go
Here's another nifty idea from Britain that came across the news wires yesterday. British roads have become so congested that the government wants drivers to pay for road usage. Busy roads at busy times of day could cost as much as $2 per mile. Small rural routes would cost just a few cents a mile. Usage would be determined by sophisticated satellite and global positioning equipment. Vehicle numbers have increased more than tenfold in the past 50 years. Yet supply, in the form of road capacity, has increased by only 20 percent. A government study found that road-pricing could reduce congestion by 40 percent and result in $20 billion in time savings. This proposal follows London's landmark congestion charge scheme. Two years ago, the city introduced a flat tax of £5 ($9) for driving into the city center. Today, it reports congestion reduced by 30 percent, traffic down by 18 percent and hundreds of millions of pounds raised for public transit.

New Jersey feedback
Norm Wesley, former Trentonian, now of Upper St. Clair: "How about a rest stop for Al Einstein? He lived in Princeton. It's the 50th anniversary of his death. The sign could say, 'Families Welcome. It's All Relative Here.' "

Mac Booker, East Liberty or Highland Park, depending on whether you're in real estate: "I think that you're looking at this all wrong. If New Jersey is 16th in corruption convictions, think how many people are getting away with their crimes. Corruption isn't in the crime, it's in the cover-up. Jersey could still be number one."

Last word: And Woodrow Wilson got a N.J. Turnpike rest area named after him for being a governor of New Jersey not merely a Princeton president or a U.S. president, for that matter.