Stacy Innerst, Post-Gazette
	Your marvelous caption would go right here! Got your Muse on the line? Then click here to submit your best for Caption Contest III Click illustration to see larger image.

If you're new to this, the rules are simple.

Come up with a funny caption for Stacy Innerst's drawing, and you might win a prize or at least a mention in the Post-Gazette suitable for lamination.

Send your entries to: Page2@post-gazette.com or to:
Portfolio
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, PA 15222.

Be sure to include your address and specific neighborhood or municipality. Please mark the submission "caption contest."

The deadline for entries is next Sunday, June 12. The results of today's contest will be revealed in two weeks, Sunday, June 19. Good luck!

Winners of Caption Contest No. 2

Stacy Innerst, Post-Gazette This one inspired more than one touching homage to the Tomb of the Unknown Bowler. Click illustration for larger image.

There was no Hamlet-like hesitation on the part of the enthusiastic participants in Portfolio's Caption Contest 2. However, our Committee on Funny Captions was almost paralyzed by the torrent of high-quality entries. The first thing we did, for the sake of sanity and fairness, was throw out every single "To bowl or not to bowl" and most of the variants on "Alas, poor Brunswick, I knew you well." We were touched by the many homages to the Tomb of the Unknown Bowler.

Our four winners will receive a copy of "Sports Town: A Look at the Famous Sports Pages of the Post-Gazette." We thank all who participated.

THE WINNERS:
1. Hamlet falls silent at the thought that death might be the start of perpetual bowling.
Andrew Rembert, Washington, Pa.

2. "Quit the 'Alas' crap, Hamlet, and throw the ball."
Sandra Rebholz, Robinson

3. Marc refused to follow through when he suspected that his newest invention, non-ride-up underwear, wasn't working.
Midge Gilson, Bridgeville

4. Q: What did Hamlet say when he broke his bowling ball?
A. "Alas, poor Brunswick, I threw him well."
Marsha Hancock, Hendersonville

HONORABLE MENTIONS:
While most bowlers admired Stan's cerebral approach to the game, few could stomach watching his approach.
Jake Friel, Renfrew

"Clovis, set up some more Christians."
Louis Dellapina, McDonald

Since Bowling would not be invented for another 1,200 years, Theodosius put the ball back in his bowling bag and tucked it deep into his gym locker at the Poppea Bath House.
Sam Sandora, Mt. Lebanon

Hamlet models the new Danish Olympic Bowling team uniform.
Marissa Gillis, Vestaburg

In ancient Greece, the bowling ball was tossed from an upright, standing position. The crouching, underhand delivery did not occur until the invention of underpants.
Paul A. Alter, Wilkinsburg

"Hmm. From the size of this thing, it'd be a heck of a lot easier to tote around than carrying the world on my shoulders," Atlas shrugged.
Susan Duffey, Reynoldsville

Basil knew it was time to move on when the Shakespeare Festival had to be held at the All-Nite Bowl and Brew to save money.
Erin Cordell, Mt. Lebanon

Everyone in the crowd agreed that wearing a dress to a bowling tournament was a ballsy move.
Mary Warwick, Murrysville

"Our new handheld weapon, Ballus Fingerholus, has first-strike capabilities and can mow down several enemy soldiers at once."
Tom Slack, Ingomar

"Yo' Rick, you got swollen-headed, man. You had to go."
G.A. Redfern, Chautauqua, N.Y.

"Mrs. Andronicus, I think your Great Dane's constipation dilemmas have finally ended."
Donna L. Sedmock, Allison Park

"Before deciding to conquer the world, Caesar briefly pondered a career on the Pro Bowlers Tour."
Ed Prence, Ellwood City

Before Caesar's salad came Caesar's bowl.
John Saniga, Newport News, Va.

Prop mix-up in CMU stage production makes scene especially awkward.
Mark Crowley, Plum

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