When Dr. Abraham Twerski started writing and lecturing about the problem of domestic violence in the Jewish community in the mid-1990s, the response was less than enthusiastic.

		About the program The "Breaking the Silence" program will be held tomorrow in the Katz Auditorium of the Squirrel Hill Jewish Community Center, which is across from the main JCC building, at 5738 Darlington Road. The program runs from 9:30-11:30 a.m.

A number of publishers declined to take his now much-praised book on the subject, "The Shame Borne in Silence," until it was published by a Pittsburgh firm, Mirkov Publications in 1996. Many bookstores refused to sell it. And when he gave speeches on domestic abuse, posters announcing the program were torn down.

"Some of the people read the book and told me, you saved my life, but others called me a scoundrel, how dare you besmirch your Jewish brethren?" recalled Twerski, an Orthodox rabbi and psychiatrist who founded the region's Gateway Rehabilitation Centers.

But Twerski said he's seen a shift toward greater awareness in recent years. Rabbis are beginning to take notice and speaking out about the problem, as are Jewish family social service organizations and private psychotherapists.

Tomorrow, in another first, the Domestic Violence Task Force of Pittsburgh is sponsoring a program called "Breaking the Silence" at the Jewish Community Center of Greater Pittsburgh, to educate Jewish abuse victims about how they can seek help. The program, which starts with registration at 9 a.m., is open to the public and is being co-sponsored by the National Council of Jewish Women Silent Witness Initiative and Jewish Family and Child Service.

For too long, Twerski said, there was a myth in the Jewish community that domestic violence just doesn't happen. It does, but to what degree isn't known. While most studies of intimate partner violence say the rate of occurrence in the general population is between 25 and 35 percent, there is little hard data about the Jewish community, according to a report issued by the Jewish Women International, a national women's advocacy group.

Still, the report said, "clinical and other data support the assertion that domestic abuse is a significant and under-recognized issue that impacts Jewish homes and families."

In fact, Twerski believes, there's greater denial of the problem among Jews, in part because of the fear of "shondeh," or shame, as well as a sense of responsibility, especially among women, to maintain "shalom bayit," or "peace in the home."

"People always said if you want a husband who doesn't drink, carouse or doesn't beat you, marry a Jewish boy, which is a myth that has to be dispelled," Twerski said. "Shalom bayit does not mean peace at all costs."

Jewish women often do take a long time to leave abusive relationships, said Bari Benjamin, a therapist at Jewish Family and Child Services in Squirrel Hill, who will be one of the panelists in tomorrow's program. "They tend to feel personally responsible for their problems."

And as a minority group, she added, Jews are afraid "to discuss this because it might be interpreted as a sign of weakness at a time when the group needs to show a united front."

There are other obstacles facing abuse victims, including financial concerns, fear of losing children in custody battles, or being able to obtain a Jewish divorce.

"In order to be fully divorced according to Jewish law, the husband must give his wife a 'get,' and she cannot force him to do so," wrote Rachel Nathanson in an article published in a Yeshiva University academic journal this fall. "Since wife beating is always an expression of power and control, it logically follows that many abusers will refuse to give a 'get,' thereby trapping his wife in a dangerous marriage."

Many Jewish women also fear that secular domestic violence shelters might not be able to meet the their needs.

"The number of Jewish women we serve is relatively low," acknowledged Janet Scott, director of education at Women's Center and Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh, and a panelist in tomorrow's program. While one woman from an Orthodox Jewish family came with her children to the shelter several years ago, "We don't think we're seeing as many people from that community as we could be seeing." Although a kosher kitchen is available, along with private places to pray, "We are fairly far from the nearest synagogue."

For one Jewish abuse victim who did seek shelter, the sense of isolation was profound. The woman, who will be speaking anonymously on tape tomorrow, said that when she first left her home with her children and went to a shelter, "I was so uncomfortable. I was the only Jewish woman there, and I felt so out of place."

While the Women's Center's counselors do not raise religious issues with their clients, often, during informal discussions with other shelter residents, she said, "There would be talk about finding help from your priest or going to church and praying, but never a mention of a synagogue."

The woman, who endured 12 years of physical and emotional abuse from her husband, ended up returning home twice before finally leaving for good with her children.

"I grew up not talking about these things," she said. "It was so hush-hush, always swept under the carpet, and when it happened to me I couldn't believe that it was anyone else's fault by my own."

In fact, a shelter for Jewish women is something that is much needed in Pittsburgh, said Rabbi Yisroel Miller, of Poale Zedeck Congregation in Squirrel Hill.

"It's a real issue," he said. "These women are going into alien surroundings where they need to have a supportive Jewish environment," although he and other Jewish leaders also say it's important for a woman to take steps to save her life first before adhering to religious laws.

Still, Miller discounts the role played by "shalom bayit" in discouraging Jewish women from seeking help. "It's a vestige of an attitude that's fast disappearing. The idea that it's a woman's responsibility to keep peace in the home is simply not true, and not many rabbis would subscribe to it," he said.

In fact, more and more rabbis have been taking a proactive approach to domestic violence in the past few years. Those changing attitudes are described in a video being shown tomorrow, in which a wealthy California woman describes how she was told repeatedly by her rabbi in the early years of an abusive marriage to go back to her husband and "keep peace in the home." Years later, at age 65, she finally left him -- at her rabbi's urging.

"Any rabbi worth his salt is going to take action when he sees a credible case," said Rabbi Alvin Berkun, of Tree of Life Synagogue, adding that he himself has kept some women from going home after hearing about their abuse and arranging for an attorney to help them.

But he and others acknowledged there's still a long way to go.

In a video that will be shown tomorrow, Rabbi Mark Dratch, of Congregation Agudath Sholom in Stamford, Conn., a nationally recognized expert on the religious implications of family violence, says that many still believe a public acknowledgement that some Jewish men abuse their wives and girlfriends is a "chilul Hashem," or desecration of God's name.

"I believe the chilul Hashem occurs at the moment of battering," Dratch said. "Getting help is a kiddush Hashem (sanctification of God's name)."